Green Screen Cinema Filmmaking for the 21st century

Moby Doesn't Like Babies

Tuesday, May 27 2008 @ 09:21 PM UTC
Contributed by: Jimbo
Views: 6,484

I don't know about you, but I like babies. They're adorable. Who doesn't like babies? Well apparently Moby doesn't. I went to his website and applied for the Moby Gratis program. It's a program where supposedly he'll give you the rights to one of his songs for use in your web video. So I proposed "Giant Baby Attack!", the moving story of a giant baby that devastates downtown San Francisco. It was going to be a green screen epic. Sounds great, right?

Not if you're Moby. Here is the rejection letter Moby sent me:
    Gratis Request no. 7451 has been denied. This is because you did not provide enough information. Please login to your account at Moby Gratis if you would like to submit a new request or if you would like to ammend your original request providing more details. Thank you for using!
I'd sure like to know what additional information Moby is looking for. Does he need to make sure the plot beats in the second act are spaced far enough apart? Because I was thinking this is basically going to be a giant baby walking through San Francisco crushing cars and hurling pedestrians. This is the web after all. I think Moby and I have come to an artistic impasse.

The program is supposed to be aimed at "independent and non-profit filmmakers, film students, and anyone in need of free music" but what kind of stories does he expect these people to submit? Perhaps if my project was titled "Giant Vegetarian Burrito Attack!" he'd go for it, since he's gone meatless for the last 19 years.

That Moby sure is picky.

Legal disclaimer: I'm using humor to make the point that Moby didn't like my movie idea (which includes babies). I'm sure Moby is a really nice person and actually does love all the babies in the world.

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